Figures released yesterday show that visitors to the Earths Core have been far fewer than was estimated at the beginning of the year. The Earths Core was opened up to tourists at the beginning of the year as a special attraction for the millennium and was expected to be a major crowd puller. However this figures show what some analyst suspected all along, that nobody is interested in seeing the centre of the Earth.

Recently a survey asked the public why they were not visiting the Earths Core. It found that the main reasons given were the distance, the average temperature of five thousand degrees centigrade and the fact that there is no McDonalds down there.

Mrs Sheila Smith visited the Core recently with her family and told of her experience. “We were very disappointed, other than look at all the molten metal there was very little to do there. The kids found it particularly dull. Also the fact that we all suffered sever burning has put us off the idea of returning.”

The project to open up the earth core has been plagued with troubles since its conception. There were great worries that the access hole would not have been dug on time and the entrance lift frequently broke down. It has also suffered from bad publicity recently when a visitor died last month. The dead man, whose name is Robert Polsen got out of the lift too early and fell almost the entire four thousand miles to the Core.

In an attempt to boost visitor the company that runs the attraction will be starting a new advertising campaign in the next month. The advert is aimed at children in the hope that they might persuade there parents to choose the Earth Core as the destination for their summer holiday. The advert will feature annoying pop group S Club 7 and no doubt a lot of crap Sexual innuendo about reaching their core.

Talentless

Also to help with cost and to try to make up the potential loss that the Earths Core is currently running ticket prices will be raised from 20 per person per day to 2000 for half an hour.