Six weeks after the deaths of Sir John Gielgud and Dame Barbara Cartland, it has revealed that they died while “on the job” at Cartland’s home in London.

This shocking admission by one of the Dame’s personal staff, Helen Mackay came as no surprise to his fellow thespian Sir Alec Guinness. “John always had an eye for the older ladies”. Sir John, who was 96 had never married, and was widely known to have been ‘a bit of a playboy’, by those that worked with him.

Gielgud - Had an eye for the older ladies

Dame Barbara Cartland, who was 98, had been married twice. She had publicly declared that her first husband, Sachie McCorquodale was “unsatisfactory in bed”, so divorced him and married his sexual boomerang brother, Hugh, who once told friends that Cartland was “a bit of a goer”. He eventually died from a 50 year old war wound. The deaths of both Cartland and Gielgud were separately announced on the morning of 22nd May, but Gieldgud, it was claimed had also died at home.

Cartland - A bit of a goer

It was further revealed that the pair had been seeing each other since the death last year of Sir John’s longtime companion Martin Hensler, about whom very little is known publicly.

We at DFTFC would like to just mention that more details regarding the whole affair were disclosed to us, but on the grounds of decency they will not be explained here. Yuck.