Following the shocking news last week that American President Bill Clinton shook Cuban Leader Fidel Castro’s hand DFTFC have launched an investigation into what this could mean for America. Whilst the moment of the handshake was not recorded for prosperity on film DFTFC employed a talented team of 40 artist to recreate this photorealistic artists impression of the moment.

Artists impression of 'the moment'

We asked our American corespondent Dougie B to speak to several officials from the Whitehouse about the matter. Mr Lewis Jordan told us that the current Clinton administration does not see this event as pertaining towards a commie friendly American government, and that everything was running just dandy. However we decided that this was perhaps too boring so we asked Dougie B to dig a little further into matters. After speaking to ‘some chap’ Dougie found on the street outside the Capital Building he gained the following exclusive.

The current Clinton administration is in fact carefully masterminding a plot to convert the ‘Land of the Free’ into a communist run nation! Yes that’s right every citizen will have to be treated equally and will have their fair share of the country’s wealth! Have you ever heard anything as dreadful as that!

Having forked out so much money on our team of talented artists we felt that it was only appropriate to make full use of them and we have created this artist impression of what the US flag may begin to look like within the year…

The future of the US flag? ‡

We decided to see what the two candidates currently running for president thought about our startling revelations… We received these two press statements.

“Why that commie bastard, I’ll kill the little son of a bitch, this wouldn’t have happened in my Dad’s days” - George W Bush.

“Comrades, the very thought that Mr Clinton is masterminding a plot to transfer power in America into communists hands is ridiculous, and if elected I’ll get the KGB, err I mean FBI to look into the matter immediately” - Al Gore.

‡ Yes we realise that the US flag normally has 50 ‘Hammer and Sickle’ logos on it, but our team of talented artists forgot that.